Patch Notes

Blizzard (Un)Entertainment by TheWickedOne
August 16, 2009, 1:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’d like to sit down for a minute and talk about something that’s pissing me off at the moment: Blizzard Entertainment.

Oh yes, the people who brough us such treasures as StarCraft, Diablo 2 and Warcraft 3. Great games, and for me, StarCraft is still a game I play; a fond memory of childhood and bringer of nostalgia. Who can forget the first time they got Zergling-rushed, or that time they forgot to build detectors and got slaughtered by Dark Templar?

These people, who along with Squaresoft, gave me oh-so-many-years of video game time, are destroying the games I play now. Not Square. They can’t release a patch for Final Fantasy 7 to destroy my interest in it. Oh no they’ll just release horrible horrible games that we wait too long to play.

Blizzard have done some fun stuff. The World of Warcraft is going strong and has proven to be one of, if not the most successful MMORPGs, but it’s slowly becoming pretty infuriating, and only the promise of future encounters, and my love for the guildmates I’ve had for three years, is keeping me mildly interested in the game.

We’ll start with the obvious: Death Knights. I played my first Death Knight little less than two months ago, and I had fun. Their mechanic rekindled fond memories of Warhammer Online. They also have interesting talent trees, all of which are viable for tanking. People complain about the Death Knight, citing how overpowered they are as a class. Which is true.

So Blizzard scurries about and nerfs them to hell, along with Paladins and Warlocks. The Warlock did not deserve what has happened to them; no wonder so many Warlocks are rerolling. But there is one particular class that escapes unscathed: Hunters.

The biggest nerf the huntard ever received was in the Beta of the game and the lost the ridiculously powerful Black Arrow spell. Which has been re-implemented with different, weaker effects, but is still a largely powerful ability.

Their penchant for agility gives them dodge and parry rates when engaged in melee, and are very capable of dealing out a lot of pain in ranged. Oh, and they equip mail so they have a decently high amount of armour. Oh! And they get a pet which has the potential to be pretty damn strong.

What in the name of Khaine were they thinking? The Generic Ranger Class is the archetype they aim for, and more-or-less miss their mark.  Generic Ranger Class usually wears light armour (leather in WoW’s case), dualwields and has a pet familiar.

To wit: Hunters can use almost every goddamn weapon in the game, and the many hunters I have met are not afraid of proving it by rolling on said weapons. This is horrible. Hunters should have Daggers, Swords and Polearms. Maces are for clubbing, and I really can’t see Hunters all rushing to join the Seal Cub Clubbing Club.

So Blizzard, rather than screwing around with the playability of classes that were otherwise very sound (see Warlock and Paladins), why don’t you nerf the class that actually needs it? Beat the bastards down to leather, change their weapon skills to actually make them like the Ranger class you guys said you absolutely have to have in the game.

I mean, when I first heard about WoW I knew nothing of the classes. I was hoping you could play as a Demon Hunter or Necromancer. And then, shock, as I see these generically named classes with no option to play as the High Elves! I hadn’t played Frozen Throne at the time, don’t look at me like that. Suffice to say I was annoyed.

And then tragedy strikes with every update about StarCraft 2. Removing the LAN capacity wasn’t at all nice. All I’d play at LAN centres was WarCraft 3 and Starcraft, cos I’m too classy to play Counter-Strike. And they announce that travesty. And the campaigns-released-seperately… that could go two ways.

I mean, the campaigns had better be masterpieces of gloriousness that we experienced in StarCraft and Brood War. But this wait, this twelve-year wait has raised our hopes and expectations; nobody is going to be truly happy with Starcraft 2. It’ll start out well and good…and then there’ll just be this major kick-in-the-teeth that kills the game for so many of us.

Onto Diablo 3! As I’ve never really played Diablo, I can’t really rant about it, but I’d like to call to attention the stupidity here. People have complained about the Red Orbs system, saying it’s ripping off God of War. If you say that, you can go die in a fire.

Devil May Cry was released before that overrated piece of crap God of War, and guess what? It used Red Orbs as currency too! And I’m pretty sure other games did it before Devil May Cry did! I’m going to spare you my rant on God of War, though, but I can tell you it is highly overrated.

In short, Blizzard, stop fucking with the games we loved. No Sequel is better than Shitty Sequel. Shitty Expansions are the reason private servers are so popular. Devil May Cry is awesome. I also cannot wait long enough for Command and Conquer 4.

Also: You can find more things of mine on DeviantArt. Stories, poetry and the occasional picture.

P.S. Square-Enix, you haven’t escaped my wrath either. If Final Fantasy 13 fails to deliver as Final Fantasy 12 did, consider yourself ranted about. But I loved Dissidia…and Crisis Core. You might earn a reprieve if I don’t hate the English Dub of Dissidia.

P.P.S. I still haven’t forgiven you for Kingdom Hearts though. Bastards.

P.P.P.S. I miss Warhammer Online.



2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Just came across your blog.

If you miss WAR, you should come back. Despite all the haters, the game has made great strides since launch. It’s definitely a better and different game than what it was a year ago. And soon they will be rolling out the new and improved end game fixing what was one of the biggest issues people had.

It’s not perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot of fun these days with a lot of action and tons of PvP.

Comment by Krosuss

I hear good things. I’ll leave it for a bit and see how it goes, but I can definitely see myself throwing away WoW for good soon.

Comment by Mike

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